Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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(917): View more from New York City

You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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(705): View more from Ontario

From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute

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(386): View more from Florida

And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

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(203): View more from Connecticut

what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You dont lie about slip and slides

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(626): View more from California

Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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(440): View more from Ohio

I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?

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(907): View more from Alaska

why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?

(1-907): View more from Alaska

dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems

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