It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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