All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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