Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
