Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i dont even know how to be here
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
