i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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