me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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