why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
