i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
