Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize