May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
