I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You can't special order awesome
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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