i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
