just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
