apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she looked like the before picture.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
be right there i have to get my cape
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
