I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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