ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
