So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The Olympian is in my bed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
