i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
