Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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