Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
