Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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