so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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