Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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