Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
