I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
