Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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