he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
