We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
