After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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