Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize