This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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