Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
