I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
