I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
