Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My bed smells like the plague
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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