Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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