yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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