So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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