Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
