I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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