It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
