The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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