Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
