Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
