I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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