Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
