Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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