"it" just moved
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
