we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We need to get me chipped asap
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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