My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
