Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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