So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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