this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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