If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please, let me fuck your mom
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
